Chapter 4 - What Lily Was Told)
For three days, Vanessa did not leave Emma alone with Lily.
If Emma went into the backyard, Lily remained inside.
If Emma sat in the kitchen, Vanessa called Lily upstairs.
If Lily wandered toward Emma's bedroom, Vanessa appeared within minutes.
Charles watched it happen.
He did nothing.
On the fourth morning, Emma found a folded piece of paper beneath her pillow.
Four words were written in purple crayon.
Behind the dryer tonight.
Emma burned the note in a candle jar before Vanessa could find it.
At one in the morning, Emma quietly opened her door.
Lily was already beside the laundry area.
"How did you get out?"
"I didn't sleep."
Emma crouched beside her.
"What are we looking for?"
Lily pointed toward the dryer.
"Grandpa found papers here."
Emma pulled the machine several inches away from the wall.
Dust covered the floor.
A narrow heating pipe ran vertically through the wall.
Beside it, one piece of baseboard had been loosened.
Emma touched it.
The wood shifted.
She pulled.
Behind it was a shallow gap.
Something white was visible inside.
She reached through.
Her fingers caught an envelope.
Then another.
Then another.
Eight envelopes.
All addressed to Charles Carter.
All from Olivia Marsh.
Portland, Oregon.
None opened.
Emma stared at the postmarks.
The oldest was four years earlier.
The newest was eight months old.
"Grandpa hid them."
Lily shook her head.
"No."
"Then who?"
Lily looked terrified.
"Mom."
Emma checked the envelopes again.
"How do you know?"
"I saw her."
"When?"
"Christmas."
Lily touched the wall.
"She put them there. Grandpa found one later."
"What happened?"
"He cried."
Emma opened the oldest envelope.
She knew it was wrong.
She also knew that adults had been hiding the truth for six years.
The letter began simply.
Dad,
If Vanessa tells you I left Lily because I didn't want her, she is lying.
Emma stopped.
Lily gripped her sleeve.
"Read it."
Emma continued silently first.
Olivia wrote that after Lily's birth she had suffered a severe emotional collapse and voluntarily asked Vanessa and Charles to care for Lily temporarily.
She had never intended to surrender parental rights.
She claimed Vanessa later told her Charles believed she was dangerous.
Olivia was sent to a recovery program in another state.
When she returned three months later, Vanessa would not allow her inside the house.
Then Olivia discovered documents had been filed transferring guardianship.
Olivia said her signature on one document was not hers.
She begged Charles to call.
At the bottom was a phone number.
Emma read the important parts to Lily in gentler language.
Lily listened without moving.
When Emma finished, she whispered, "She wanted me?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Lily began crying.
Not loudly.
Not like a frightened child.
Like someone whose entire understanding of herself had just been rewritten.
Emma hugged her.
"She wanted you."
Lily buried her face against Emma.
"Mom said she threw me away."
Emma closed her eyes.
"She lied."
A floorboard creaked.
Emma froze.
Someone stood at the end of the hallway.
Charles.
His face looked gray.
He stared at the envelopes in Emma's hands.
"Where did you find those?"
Emma stood.
"Behind the dryer."
Charles looked toward Lily.
Then toward the stairs.
"Go to bed, sweetheart."
Lily clung to Emma.
"No."
"Lily."
"You knew."
Charles's face broke.
"I didn't know she wrote all of these."
"You knew about one," Emma said.
He looked at her.
"She told me."
Lily looked up at him.
"Did my mommy want me?"
Charles could not answer.
Lily began crying harder.
Emma stepped toward him.
"Say it."
Charles stared at his granddaughter.
Finally he whispered, "Yes."
Lily wiped her face.
"Then why didn't she come get me?"
Charles sank into the chair beside the laundry table.
"Because I failed both of you."
Emma had expected excuses.
Instead those words frightened her more.
"What did you do?"
Charles covered his face.
Before he could answer, the hall light came on.
Vanessa stood at the top of the stairs.
Her eyes moved from Charles to Lily.
Then to the letters.
For several seconds nobody spoke.
Vanessa walked forward.
"Give me those."
Emma held them behind her back.
"No."
"Emma."
"No."
Vanessa looked at Charles.
"You opened them?"
Charles stood.
"You told me she stopped writing."
"She did."
Emma held up the letters.
"Apparently not."
Vanessa's face hardened.
"Lily, go to your room."
Lily stayed beside Emma.
Vanessa repeated herself.
"Go."
"No."
It was the first time Emma had ever heard Lily openly refuse her.
Vanessa seemed almost shocked.
Then her expression turned cold.
"You're becoming very brave."
Emma stepped in front of Lily.
Vanessa's eyes met hers.
"That's your influence."
"Good."
Charles moved between them.
"Enough."
Vanessa laughed softly.
"Now you have courage?"
Charles did not respond.
She looked at the letters.
"You think a few sentimental pages change what Olivia was?"
"They change what you told Lily," Emma said.
Vanessa stepped closer.
"You know nothing about Olivia."
"Then tell me."
"She was unstable."
"Being sick doesn't mean she didn't love her daughter."
"It means she couldn't raise one."
"That's for a court to decide."
Vanessa's face changed at the word court.
Emma noticed.
So did Charles.
Vanessa reached toward the letters.
Emma moved them away.
Vanessa stopped.
Then she smiled.
"Keep them."
Emma frowned.
Vanessa turned toward Lily.
"Ask your grandfather what he signed."
Charles went pale.
Vanessa continued downstairs.
Emma looked at him.
"What did you sign?"
Charles stared toward the staircase.
"Not tonight."
Emma held up Olivia's letters.
"You don't get to say that anymore."
He looked at Lily.
Then at Emma.
"There was another document."
"What document?"
May you like
Charles closed his eyes.
"The one that made Vanessa her mother."
