Chapter 12 - What Charles Had Done)
The full recording changed everything.
Vanessa's clip lasted fourteen seconds.
Olivia's original recording lasted nineteen minutes.
In it, Olivia described severe exhaustion, fear, and intrusive thoughts after Lily's birth.
But she also repeatedly said she wanted treatment because she loved her daughter and wanted to return home safely.
Her therapist could be heard asking whether she had ever harmed Lily.
Olivia answered no.
Had she planned to harm Lily?
No.
Had she asked Vanessa to adopt her?
No.
She had asked for temporary help.
Emma listened to the recording with Charles's lawyer the following morning.
Vanessa had left the house after Olivia arrived.
She took two bags but not Lily.
Nobody tried to stop her.
The attorney had advised them to avoid confrontation.
Lily spent the night in Charles's room with the door open.
Emma slept on the floor beside the bed.
Olivia stayed in a hotel.
That choice confused Lily.
"Why doesn't she stay here?"
Emma answered carefully.
"Because she's trying not to make everything happen too fast."
"Doesn't she want me?"
"She does."
"Then why wouldn't she sleep here?"
Emma thought about it.
"Maybe because wanting you and doing what's best for you aren't always the same thing."
Lily considered that.
"Mom says if people love you, they don't leave."
Emma looked at her.
"Sometimes people leave because staying would make things worse."
"Like Liv?"
"Maybe."
Lily leaned against her.
"Did Grandpa love me when he lied?"
Emma looked toward Charles's closed bathroom door.
"Yes."
"Then love can be bad."
Emma's chest hurt.
"Love can be selfish."
Lily looked up.
"What's selfish?"
"When somebody cares more about keeping you than about what you need."
Lily thought about Vanessa.
Then Charles.
Then Olivia.
"Is Liv selfish?"
"I don't know her well enough."
"Is Grandpa?"
Emma smiled sadly.
"Sometimes."
The bathroom door opened.
Charles had heard.
"I was," he said.
Lily looked at him.
He sat beside her.
"When you were a baby, I was terrified I'd lose you."
"To Liv?"
"Yes."
"Was that bad?"
Charles took time before answering.
"Being afraid wasn't bad. What I did because I was afraid was."
Lily watched him.
He continued.
"I told myself I was protecting you."
"From my mommy."
"Yes."
"Were you?"
"No."
The honesty mattered.
Lily asked, "Why did you pick Mom?"
Charles looked toward the window.
"Because Vanessa looked strong when Olivia looked fragile."
"What does fragile mean?"
"Hurt."
Lily frowned.
"So you gave me to the person who wasn't hurt."
"I thought I did."
"Was Mom good then?"
Charles hesitated.
"She was better at hiding things."
Emma looked at him.
That was perhaps the truest sentence he had spoken.
That afternoon Olivia came to the house.
She brought the six birthday cards.
She also brought the stuffed rabbit's matching twin.
Lily stared at it.
"Why are there two?"
Olivia smiled nervously.
"I bought them before you were born."
"One for me?"
"One for you. One for me."
"Why?"
"So if we ever had to be apart, we'd both have one."
Lily touched the rabbit's ear.
"Did you keep yours?"
"Every night for a long time."
Lily looked at Emma.
Then back at Olivia.
"Can I see it?"
Olivia handed it to her.
Lily held both rabbits side by side.
One old.
One faded.
One nearly untouched.
She did not hug Olivia.
Emma could see that hurt her.
But Olivia did not force it.
Instead she sat on the floor several feet away.
"Can I read you the first birthday card?"
Lily nodded.
Olivia opened the envelope.
The card was simple.
No dramatic explanation.
No blame.
It said that Lily had learned to laugh before Olivia ever heard the sound.
That Olivia wondered whether she liked bananas.
Whether she had hair yet.
Whether she hated naps.
Olivia wrote that she hoped Lily was loved every day.
By the end, Charles had left the room.
Emma found him in the kitchen.
He stood at the sink with his hands braced against the counter.
"Are you okay?"
"No."
"Good."
He looked at her.
Emma did not apologize.
"You should feel bad."
"I do."
"Not because Olivia hates you."
"I know."
"Because Lily lost six years."
"I know."
Emma softened slightly.
"What happens now?"
"Margaret filed for emergency temporary placement review."
"Who gets Lily?"
"That is up to the judge."
"Could Vanessa?"
"Possibly."
Emma's stomach dropped.
"After the hamper?"
"That makes it less likely."
"What about Olivia?"
"She hasn't been Lily's legal parent for six years."
"But the adoption might be fraudulent."
"Exactly."
Emma hated how complicated justice sounded.
Charles continued.
"The court may appoint a child advocate. There may be supervised transitions. Therapy."
"Will Lily have to choose?"
"I hope not."
Emma looked toward the living room.
Lily and Olivia sat on the floor with the rabbits between them.
"What about you?"
Charles looked at her.
"What about me?"
"If the court asks what you did."
"I tell them everything."
"Even if it hurts you?"
"Especially then."
Emma studied him.
For the first time, she believed him.
Then his phone rang.
He answered.
His face changed.
"What?"
Emma stepped closer.
Charles listened.
Then he said, "We're coming."
He ended the call.
"What happened?"
"Vanessa withdrew eight thousand dollars from an account linked to Lily's trust before the freeze fully processed."
Emma stared.
"Where is she?"
"We don't know."
Olivia entered the kitchen.
"What's wrong?"
Charles told her.
Olivia immediately reached for her phone.
Emma saw fear cross her face.
"What?"
Olivia looked at Charles.
"Vanessa used to tell me that if anyone tried to take Lily from her, she'd disappear."
Charles went pale.
Emma looked toward the living room.
May you like
Lily was gone.
The back door stood open.
